There is a difference between getting cold feet and feeling doubtful of this major marriage decision.
If your concerns are about your compatibility and understanding of your future spouse, you should take this seriously.
Cold feet consist of being fearful of the day’s events. Scared of things not going on the day, weather concerns, and so on. Cold feet is nothing about concern for the actual marriage to your chosen partner.
If we are hesitant about the marriage, we need to understand what it is we are concerned about.
Has their past behaviour initiated your concerns as these behaviours predict future behaviour? Are you confident your partner will never repeat these behaviours that concern or worry you or will they remain the same throughout your marriage? If you are hoping for a significant change, this is not a likely outcome.
You and your partner need to be confident, secure and comfortable in your relationship. If there are any concerns or fears couples really need to discuss these feelings and emotions openly to allow both of you to understand why these feelings have been created.
If it is due to issues from your past, previous behaviours you are worried will reoccur then communicating these feelings and thoughts are so important. Using a Counselling session can help to lower any conflict and enable your partner to understand the reason you feel this way.
Our perceptions are our reality so even if the feelings and thoughts may not be based on complete fact, they have originated somewhere. Understanding the origin is imperative.
Learning to talk, listen and understand each other is such an important part of any relationship that wants to be sustained and happy.
Acquiring the knowledge of why your partner may feel as they do allows both partners to learn more about the other, their thoughts, fears and any issues from the past. Once we are more informed, it can help develop a closer union. If we don not understand, we can often feel affronted or accused, and this is never healthy.
If solid answers and understanding to tough or threatening questions that you decide to work through with positive understanding, your relationship has the opportunity to last and remain happy.
Too many couples commence their marriage with matters remaining unattended. This is always dangerous. Just like the expectation that a marriage or child will make your partner more mature, responsible or loving. Your partner needs to be exhibiting care, attention, respect, appreciation and love for you before your marriage. Then you have an excellent basis to remain happy and in love forever.
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