Pink recently disclosed that she and her husband have been attending relationship counselling for the past 17 years of their relationship and marriage. She puts their incredible close and connected relationship down to ongoing couple counselling.
Relationship, or Couple, Counselling isn’t always about just helping to resolve issues. It is often about ensuring you are checking in with your partner about a range of things many of us don’t think about discussing or perhaps may fear talking about in case our partner feels attacked. In a counselling session, the therapist acts as a go-between to ensure what is said is understood correctly, which is often the problem with our couple communications.
We meet, are happy in our love or lust bubble, then life continues, pressures build and while the bubble may last, it often starts to get some holes impacting it. When we have a disagreement, things are said that can’t be unsaid, behaviours and words are felt, and trust and happiness may fade. We may never have learned correct relationship techniques nor the communication methods to manage and resolve the disagreement correctly. Both partners must be heard and hopefully understood, this is where a counsellor is invaluable. The counsellor should also be able to guide you both by teaching better communication strategies to use within your relationship.
Most every couple would benefit from a relationship tune-up. I call it Relationship Insurance. We most all drive a car and take it for a tune-up before an issue occurs whereas if we just continue to drive around things may go wrong. Once the car or engine has an issue it usually is very inconvenient, takes longer to correct, more expensive to fix or even can’t be repaired correctly.
Unfortunately, many of us have come from or experience broken families. Did you know we learn our communication and resilience techniques from our parents?
We learn their behaviours about communicating with our partner, resolving issues, discussion of issues. We take these learnings into our adult relationships which can often mean often we struggle as well. Counselling can assist us to learn the correct strategies and techniques to be able to share and discuss with our partner, without arguments.
I suggest we all consider having a relationship tune-up each year or so around our anniversary to make sure everything keeps running smoothly, so we tune-up any issues before they become a problem.
Discussion on couple therapy cost has been raised as an issue. While it may cost $150 -$200 a session we pay more than that a few times a year for our car service, so it is interesting why some may baulk at paying that for their life happiness. After all, separation or divorce can cost tens of thousands and half our assets are lost as well; a couple of hundred dollars to remain happy, connected, appreciated and in love, is a bargain. Can we afford not to have it?
How do I know if I need a counselling session with my partner?
- If either partner feels neglected, ignored, unappreciated
- Arguments are affecting you
- Annoyances are escalating
- Either partner feels unhappy
- You need the other person to communicate better
Most everyone should have a relationship tune-up. It’s your Relationship Insurance for a happy and connected long term relationship.
Why Should We Have Couple Counselling?
Most every couple should consider yearly or bi-yearly couples counselling. We all want to remain happy, connected and appreciated in our relationship. It is also proven that unhappy relationships can cause physical and mental health issues. Poor relationships can increase our stress and anxiety levels, make us cranky and snappy, we fail to thrive at work and our life is generally more unpleasant. Sounds horrid right, because it is.
Being in a happy, kind, respectful and valued relationship makes our life more calm, healthier, energetic, content and happy.
Most everyone should have a relationship tune-up. It’s your Insurance for a happy and connected long term relationship.
Read more from Dr Karen