A recent survey conducted by Australian Seniors Insurance Agency received 1,000 responses from Grandparents indicating that most were concerned with the happiness of their grandchildren’s future.

It was revealed in fact they believed their grandchildren were doomed:

93.8% thought parenting styles had changed for the worse
81%, or 4 out of 5 grandparents, thought their grandchild is unhappy
2 out of 3 believe they are less resilient
85% believe their grandchild is too spoilt
Most believe modern day parenting has changed for the worse

These numbers are concerning. The main point here is that the grandparents raised their children, they believe, to be resilient, happy, balanced individuals with high standards, morals and ethics. This being said, it is how the next generation raises their children, as they themselves were parented.

Parenting is hard enough. The pressure on parents now is enormous, far greater than previous generations. Mothers are now wanting or needing to work, often full time, while raising their children. This is challenging. They are supporting their kids to do a range of activities after school and stretching themselves to be available to their kids and partner most times.

Yes, parenting has changed, and I believe for the better. Children are heard now, there is less physical punishment as in the past, children are honoured and respected and this is precisely what parents should be doing.

Social media places considerable pressure on parents as well. Only those successful posts, the awards, the abilities and accomplishments of others are posted. We rarely see the tantrums posted or the failures, the sleepless nights, the guilt factor, and on it goes. Parents often feel they are the only parents to feel these emotions when in fact almost every parent does at some time. Then they question their ability to be a great parent.

Parents are doing a wonderful job raising our next generation. Yes, we must teach our kids resilience and tolerance, as I presume we were taught by the grandparents making these statements in the survey. Children are a reflection of how they are or were raised. The criticism by some grandparents does have a direct implication on them as a parent and what values they instilled in their child now raising their grandchildren.

Parents nowadays also have to deal with the world as it changes so rapidly. Technology, terrorism, social media are all reasonably new and parents for the first time are left supporting their children through these turbulent issues. I am not convinced parents of the past could have managed or dealt with this rapid change to our world with as much resilience as our new younger parents are demonstrating.

Let us all unite, support and work together, as most everyone should in a family. If you as a grandparent believe your child is not doing a fabulous job with your grandchild, speak to them, suggest things but never tell them. They are the parents of their child, they set the boundaries and rules, they are setting their family culture. When grandparents care for their gorgeous grandchildren honour the parents’ wishes, set your standards within your own home and consult respectfully with your child about any child raising issue you are concerned about. Remember they, nor you, did a course on what to do or how to do it. We all wing it as parents and hope we are doing the best thing for our child. The grandparents do have more experience in some areas but as parenting has changed, be assured as a parent now, your decisions are right for you and your child.

Do the great job you are doing dear parent and ask for support when needed. Take any advice you want and leave the rest. It makes you a smarter parent for requesting answers to questions, use those around you and keep up your amazing parenting job.