When we are about to get married or have recently married, I ask “What Marriage Expectations do you have for your relationship?’
Most of the time I get blank stares, even asked from some couples, ‘are we supposed to have one?’
Fact is, Yes, you should.
Why should you? To know what it is you want and expect and to then work towards achieving it. If we have no real expectation, how then do we move toward ensuring it is right?
So many times I hear one or both members of the couple say they want a relationship better than their parents or the one they were raised in. This is a great progression of expectation but most then stall when I ask them how they plan to achieve this?
Many of us know what we do not want to feel or do not want to experience. Problem we often have is, we have no real idea or plan of how to achieve something different and better.
What then do you expect from your marriage or relationship? The expectation can be different to different people, but often when we cut it down to basic expectations, it goes like this:
- Honesty
- Appreciation
- Respect
- Time together
- Being the most important thing in my partner’s life
- Always considered
- Fun and laughter
- Compliments
- Wanted
These are the most basic of all expectations and when these are met we are often in a euphoric state of bliss and happiness.
Can we be in euphoric bliss and happiness each and every day. Yes, we can, mostly anyway. If you love, respect and appreciate your partner, if you consider your partner and do what you can to hear, understand and support them plus, they reciprocate the same back to you, then Euphoria is what you have.
A relationship or marriage is not hard work as some may advise. It is easy. Along with this easy however does come consideration, respect and appreciation of the other person and of yourself. Once we can find a way to speak without conflict or attack, without being on the defensive and by being curious as to what our partner may mean by something they say, then we can have that wonderful, amazing and close relationship we have always wanted.
How then do we learn this especially if our parents never modelled this type of communication or relationship to us. We learn by seeking out the education we need to ensure we secure our relationship and not end up the 1 in 2 people divorced, unhappy, bitter and angry. Surely we should all do whatever we can to avoid that.
I have a Special Offer for all of you. A Free Webinar I have made in a bid to help, support and stop these dreadful relationship breakdown statistics. Of course we all believe it will never happen to me or us, however unfortunately we all think that, but half of us are wrong.
The one loud comment I hear regularly when couples either come into my rooms to try and save their damaged relationship or take steps to recover from the breakdown is this – “I wish I had known this before the damage was done and it was too late to salvage’.
So regardless if you are still in your happy euphoric state or have already noticed some chinks starting to form, please grab your partner and watch the Webinar ‘When Me becomes We’. The information is the same most all couples disagree about that causes the distress. Watch, talk, laugh and learn.
This will indeed keep your relationship strong, loving, happy and hopefully forever.
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